Is Coinbase the safest place for a complete idiot to invest in Cryptocurrency?

I know this is against common advice, but I just want to log in somewhere, buy crypto, and leave it there untouched for years. Is a place like Coinbase the best option for this? I stupidly thought Celsius was a good option for this, did my first crypto purchases there, and got burned. Is there somewhere better that comes with some more assurance than Coinbase that the funds are protected/insured? I don't want any features at all. Just give me a deposit and a withdrawal button. That's all I want. If there were a way to dump money into a crypto mutual fund with an "old money" bank/service, I'd probably prefer that, honestly. I just want to dump an amount in and be assured that it will be there in a decade without needing to keep track of whether or not the service got hacked or went bankrupt.