El Salvador to host Crypto Winter Games in 2024

Salvadorian President and perennial baseball cap wearer Nayib Ukulele has today confirmed El Salvador is to host the inaugural Crypto Winter Games in 2024.

The games will be the first major international multi-sport crypto event to be held on snow and ice. Construction has already commenced on state-of-the-art stadiums housing massively oversized screens displaying an array of confusing event information allowing day traders to feel right at home in their seats.

"This is a great day for crypto!" proclaimed the country's Interior Minister Aileen Cucaracha who later denied rumours the countries volcanoes will need to be temporarily switched off to allow snow to settle on their peaks. The inaugural Crypto Winter Games will feature 7 exciting new snow and ice-based crypto sports events:

Downhill shilling

Ski Jump Shitcoining

Layer Eyes Slalom

Marathon Baghold

Halving half-marathon

Nordic Pump-and-Dump

100m HODL

Reigning World Champion Ski Jump Shitcoiner Billy Spool said 'I can't wait, I've been in the gym pumping shitcoins since forever, it'll be great to finally participate on the World stage". Event sponsor CryptoScamsRus said it was delighted to back the event and welcomed the opportunity to fleece a new influx of crypto newbs just in time for the next bull run.

Early leaked rehearsal footage appears to confirm rumours that the opening ceremony will feature Vitalik Buterin dressed as Scrappy Do performing a long-winded dance routine called 'The Merge'. Craig Wright said he'd be delighted to participate in the closing ceremony dressed as a Japanese cypherpunk so long as Bitcoiners resisted the urge to sacrificially toss him into the Crypto Winter Flame.